


Ever In a Loop With You

by TwilightsInferno



Series: Snowbarry Week 2018 [4]
Category: The Flash (TV 2014)
Genre: Angst, F/M, Savitar and Killer Frost, Snowbarry Week 2018
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-12-14
Updated: 2018-12-14
Packaged: 2019-09-18 08:07:57
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,978
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/16991220
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/TwilightsInferno/pseuds/TwilightsInferno
Summary: Savitar knows each time he goes through the time loop there are changes. Little things. Inconsequential to his grand scheme. But when Killer Frost emerges he wonders if this time the change will be his doom.Savitar POV of the ending scene in 3x19Day 5: Savitar/Killer FrostSnowbarry Week 2018





	Ever In a Loop With You

**Author's Note:**

> To me how Caitlin become Killer Frost always seemed *very* circumstantial and not in a way Savitar could actually plan. So since we know little things can change timeline to timeline I figured maybe this was one of those changes... and maybe it wasn’t actually so little.
> 
> And as a technical note anything in *italics* is flashback for Barry anything in *bold italics* is flashback for Savi/other timeline :)

Savitar worked alone in the abandoned warehouse he had claimed for his own, tinkering with his suit. He could feel the electricity course through him, anticipation making him frustrated. He may have been no stranger to patience, over ten thousand years of waiting had given him that, but as her time drew nearer he found his to be wearing thin. Something stirred inside of him at the thought, something he hadn’t felt in a long time.

He let out a long growling sigh as he tightened up a loose bolt when he suddenly felt as if he had been thrown back in time.

Memories flashed across his mind.

 

_ Barry supporting Caitlin on one side, Wally on the other. His gloved hand pressed against her side over a cloth where there used to be a pipe before he had phased it out. They had to stop the bleeding. _

_ Helping her onto the med bay bed. That was his bed. He belonged there not her. Staring at the screen where the X-ray appeared, revealing shrapnel in her side. He felt sick. _

_ “She can regenerate?” His voice came hopeful after Cisco’s suggestion, only to be quickly snuffed out by Caitlin’s words. _

_ “No! We’re not going to take off my necklace. I don’t need a hospital.” _

_ Her staying awake during her own surgery. Him hastily throwing off his gloves once he realized their red color couldn’t hide the dark stains of her blood. She somehow remained so calm as Barry paced, shaking to his core. _

_ “What if it’s not a tendon?” His voice came out of its own accord, but it didn't sound right. His own body feeling foreign and wrong, his voice felt like it was someone else’s. Unable to think of a thing he could do for her as his mind spun, he felt so useless. His panic making time move slower as his speed switched into survival mode. It was pure agony inside his own mind. _

_ “Then I will rip this necklace off,” Cisco determined, somehow able to watch all this. Barry could barely stomach to look at her. _

_ “No,” Caitlin shot sternly, “I would rather die.” _

_ And then she screamed. Oh God, her scream. It tore through him as if he was the one hit by shrapnel, a blade piecing his clavicle, a vibrating hand plunging through his chest. He’d still hear it in his ears for centuries to come. Then relief hit him, however brief it was, that she was okay. _

_ But he wasn’t. He was weak. Selfish. He ran to the future, he ran away from her. He couldn’t take the pain in his heart. And when he saw future Killer Frost in that jail cell all he could hear was her scream as the shrapnel was pulled out. _

_ Regret. _

_ Barry returned only to find Killer Frost before him once more, younger and less scarred, about to attack Cisco, Julian, and HR. He tried to get her back like he had last time, by challenging her, but it didn’t work. She was gone and all he could feel was regret. _

_ Then finally Cisco’s words as he tried to explain what happened hit him like a blast of dark matter, "S-she flat lined... she was dead, Barry. She died. I don’t know if Caitlin is even still in there..." And he felt like he disintegrated all over again. _

 

Savitar stood abruptly as he shook the images from his mind. It was time. He stepped into his suit and ran to where he knew she would be. No matter the changes or the timeline for whatever reason this was always where she went. This was always where she would be.

So he waited and it wasn’t long before he watched Killer Frost emerge from the trees, barefoot, dressed in loose white scrubs as snow fell around her. He stood straighter in her presence, partly because of a swelling in his chest at seeing her again as she truely looked like the goddess of snow, but also out of uncertainty.

Uncertainty was a rare thing for him after living so many lifetimes, but small things changed from timeline to timeline. Details fluid in time like all things. Each time this plan came to fruition inconsequential details were different. Sometimes no Wells was there, sometimes Dr. Alchemy was still his lieutenant, and now... this. But it had not happened like this before. Abra Kadabra’s trick was an unforeseen variable, she had not needed surgery, she didn’t...  _ die _ ... no, that was not at all how this had gone before. But no matter the change, the rest of his memories remained the same. His plan was still intact, all except for her. Her fate was now uncertain, even to him. It made him question if she could be trusted this time. If he should do this without her. Perhaps take her off the board entirely? She could be too much of a liability after all. Especially if she returned to her thankless team. They might actually beat him if she did. It was the one possibility he had never seen, and he wasn't keen too.

But as she walked towards him ethereally, the personification of the winter storm around her, his mind drifted to the timeline from before, most timelines in fact, when Caitlin Snow had once stumbled through those trees. 

 

**_Running away from STAR Labs, her home, from where she had accidentally hurt Cisco with her powers. Where Barry was nowhere to be found. Not coming to her rescue anymore, and hadn't for a long time. Leaving her alone, broken and forgotten. Tears streaming down her face as she tripped and fell onto the snowy ground before him. Scrambling back once she saw him._ **

 

“I’ve been waiting for you,” He said now like he had back then.

 

**_“You... No... stay away from me,” Caitlin warned as she got to her feet, backing up until her back hit a tree, her brown eyes blown wide with fear._ **

 

Killer Frost on the other hand said nothing now, blue eyes directing a hard stare towards him but a weariness glinted inside. She was still afraid, just better at not showing it.

“Fear not,” He said again, “I’ve come only to offer you what you desire.”

 

**_“And what could you possibly want to give me?” Caitlin hissed as her courage returned. He had smirked, he always admired her bravery._ **

 

“And what’s that?” Killer Frost demanded, fearless as she stepped closer to him. Perhaps she wasn’t so different after all. Perhaps his plan wouldn’t need to change.

“Salvation,” He offered simply.

 

**_“Salvation?” Caitlin narrowed her eyes at him. Not trusting a word he said._ **

 

“You wanna cure me? Turn me back into Caitlin Snow?” Frost scoffed, that same suspicion behind her eyes as it had been in Caitlin's. They both were too smart to trust him on words alone.

Despite that Savitar bristled a little. She was different now. Far too eager. She must’ve still been able to feel Caitlin inside her. Her change wasn’t complete. Caitlin hadn’t accepted her this time and was resisting. The darkest part of his mind told him to finish her there. She was a sudden lose thread in his carefully constructed plan, one wrong move and it could all fall apart.

And yet she had shown her cards, told him what she truly wanted. He could still gain her yet. So he diverted from the past as he shook his head and said,

“No. I want to make sure Caitlin never returns.”

But as he said her name his mind went back to the Caitlin Snow in his memories.

 

**_When he had risked a step closer, knowing the pain that darkened her heart. It was the same as his, “You’re ‘friends’ abandoned you, Caitlin. They’re afraid of you. I want to give you what they can’t. What they won't. I want to accept you for what you are... Killer Frost. I want to give you everything you ever wanted.”_ **

**_“Why should I believe a word you say? Why me?” Caitlin growled, loyal until the end._ **

 

“Why should I trust you?” Killer Frost shot back, untrusting and broken.

Savitar smirked under the mask and lowered himself to the ground. Kneeling before her in both timelines. The one unfolding before him now and the one in his mind. Unlocking his armor so he could rise out of it. Stepping into the snow. Her blue eyes tracing up him before settling on his face as they grew wide in shock then in awe.

 

**_Just as Caitlin’s eyes had cast over his unarmored form before settling on his scarred face, peering intently into his good eye. He could almost see her mind working to try and figure out what he was and no doubt looking for a sign of Barry Allen still left inside. Then whatever she found turned her shocked expression into awe. Suddenly her eyes began to glow, her rosy skin turned pale, and white overcame her auburn curls, until all that was left was his magnificent Killer Frost standing before him._ **

 

Then and now, both timelines running parallel in his mind, both of them uttering,

“What do you need me to do?”

He smiled if only briefly. He knew what he had done. In times before she had taken her place by his side as she gave in to the pain that overwhelmed her. That one moment of acceptance was all it took. She gave herself over to her other half. Became Killer Frost, his partner, his queen, his goddess who was always with him as they ruled Central City and beyond... together. In ways their other selves scarcely could've imagined. But now? Well... things were different now. Caitlin hadn’t accepted Killer Frost, it was forced upon her, and she had not chosen him or this path. Here, he knew without a doubt, she would eventually leave him. Be it in a couple of months or years but one day far too soon he would lose her all over again. He could see Caitlin in her eyes even now.

Was it a calculated risk or a weakness that he still took her despite that or because of that? He couldn't decide. A possible timeline forming in his mind, altered by being so long in the Speed Force he could see it. It was one where he failed to kill Iris, where he had to use Cisco to create a gun that would break him apart across the time stream but in that he would fail that too, and then she would turn on him. Her eyes would turn brown as she blasted him back with her ice. Yet she would step forward as if to protect him as Barry Allen held a blade to strike him down but hesitate. Unsure which man to be loyal too. And he would die. Shot in the back by the woman who had already destroyed him.

His mind raged against the images and argued to leave Frost or to kill her while he had the chance, he could easily run to the future or the past for someone else to aid him but he knew he couldn’t. He could never do that to her. He couldn’t do this without her nor did he want too. Deep down, under the scars, and the pain, and the brokenness, and the wreckage done onto them by others there was a sliver of him that would always be Barry Allen, just like their was a sliver of her that would always be Caitlin Snow. And he would  _ always _ need her.

So he held out his hand to her,

“I need you to come with me.”

In every timeline, every universe, every alteration and frame of possibilities small things changed. The details were fluid like all things. But there was always one constant. She always took his hand. Every time.

 

**Author's Note:**

> So I've had this idea for awhile and this is my first time working with Savi so... tell me what you think! And thank you so much @supersnowbarry for helping me make this make sense XD


End file.
